His Master and Mistress, Gone Astray
by Saphira Veera
Summary: Two plus two equals four. Five times twelve is sixty. How about Ciel plus Lizzy times private train minus Sebastian? Chaos, hilarity, tears and fluff will ensue. Read and review pretty please! Rated K until further notice. Credits to we heart it for the image.


**My first attempt at writing Kuroshitsuji.**

**Aaand...my first attempt at writing a multi-chaptered fanfic this _year. _Dear, all I've done are oneshots. I think this might produce, maybe, at the most, five chapters, so you won't have to wait long. Hopefully.**

**Here you go. Enjoy.**

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**His Master and Mistress, Gone Astray  
by Saphira Veera**

**CHAPTER 1**

The young earl sat at the antique mahogany table, his posture graceful and his hands refined as he brought the delicate embroidered teacup to his mouth, his eyes hovering dismissively over the fastidious plates of various sophisticated cakes and sweets. Putting down the cup carefully on the saucer, he began buttering a crumpet.

The infamous butler of the Phantomhive household bent in elegance no lesser than a ballerina and poured more of the red tea into his master's teacup, raising his eyebrows dutifully at Ciel's crumpet buttering.

"Young Master?"

"What is it?"

Sebastian Michaelis raised his eyebrows again at his master's oblivious way of setting aside an undeniable statement.

"Master, you do know that you are eating…a crumpet."

Ciel stopped chewing and stared at his butler for two seconds before resuming eating again.

"I do not know what made you say that, but yes, yes I am indeed eating a crumpet," he answered.

"It is your…fifteenth."

"What do you mean, Sebastian?"

"It is your fifteenth crumpet this morning, sir," Sebastian submissively responded.

Ciel blinked. He looked down at his half-uneaten crumpet and his eyes travelled to the table where he found that everything was left untouched but the piling plate of crumpets. "And?"

"And… I understand that something must be bothering you - to have caused such eating disorders? I think yes."

Ciel bristled, grabbing his teacup none too kindly, and sipped quietly, the taste of his favourite tea bland and tasteless in his mouth.

"Eating crumpets is not considered to be an eating disorder," Ciel chivalrously stated, his voice teetering at the edge of impatience.

"It wouldn't be if it weren't fifteen crumpets," Sebastian patiently replied, his pose erect and his eyes devotedly trained on the half-empty teacup.

Ciel went back to eating, not dwelling over his butler's remark.

"Is it the young Lady? Don't tell me… You think she's a crumpet?"

The young earl choked on his cake, patting his chest as he grasped his tea, spilling a few drops in his haste.

"Careful there, sir," Sebastian smirked, carefully replacing the saucer from teetering over the edge of the table.

Ciel looked at Sebastian, his face flushed red, wiping his mouth with a napkin. He muttered something inaudible.

Sebastian grinned submissively, leaning towards his master closer than he should be, enjoying his expression.

"What is that, Master? I cannot hear you above your thundering heartbeat," he said softly, his mouth forming his infamous leer.

Ciel's eyes widened and pushed his chair backwards, standing, his napkin floating to the carpeted grounds of the manor, just as the doors to the dining room opened dramatically to reveal two figures in affluent, lady garments.

"I do _not_ think Elizabeth is a crumpet!" Ciel shouted quite loudly, his face the more red than ever.

"Now, now, Master," Sebastian straightened himself, the remains of a smirk still visible on his face and he turned to the visitors. "Ah, my Lady."

"Ci-Ciel?" called out a very familiar voice from behind the young earl, startling him as he stood as still as a statue. Slowly, he turned and saw his fiancée still holding her lace parasol, her blue silken garment trembling in the non-existent winds from the open door.

"E-Elizabeth!" stuttered Ciel, turning redder every second. "I-I – What are you doing here?"

"Ciel – Why are you comparing me with a crumpet?" Elizabeth asked with the air of innocence, clearly in the shadows behind the inside joke.

"I – I didn't! You must have heard wrong, Elizabeth," Ciel laughed weakly, failing to calm his indeed thundering heartbeat.

Elizabeth frowned. "No, I didn't. I heard you clearly. You said that you do not think I'm a crumpet. Do you mean the crumpet as in food or –"

"Se-Sebastian!" Ciel said, louder than necessary, interrupting Elizabeth. "Will you kindly please take _Lizzy's _coat and parasol? Surely, Paula, you could have told us prior to your sudden arrival!"

Paula blushed. "But – Sir, I thought –" She faltered as she tried to find a reason that should have been on the tip of her tongue.

"Ciel! I am not finished!" Elizabeth exclaimed haughtily, not allowing Sebastian to take her coat.

Ciel flushed redder, and tightened his fists. Glancing for a second at Sebastian's playful look, he knew he could not expect to rely on his butler's help for this situation, even though it was entirely _his _fault that he was stuck in this moment. Struck with seconds to think, he came forward, hoping that there were no crumbs sticking to his shirt and knelt in the carpet in front of his fiancée.

"Elizabeth Midford," he said as calmly as anyone would be after such circumstances. "Would you like to go on a week trip with me to Italy this afternoon?"

Elizabeth, taken aback but rather pleased at the abrupt invitation, widened her eyes. Gradually, her mouth curved from a smile into a full ear-to-ear grin. She squealed and took her fiance's hands in hers, and twirled him around.

"Of course I would go with you!" she cried excitedly and squeezed Ciel hard, her eyes shining.

Paula, although clearly surprised at Ciel, tilted her head. "This afternoon? Then we must haste, my Lady! There are dresses and outfits to be chosen!"

Sebastian smiled in his own fashion. "There is no need for such haste. The train leaves at my Master's command."

Paula blinked at Sebastian's tranquil figure. "How is that so?"

Regaining his balance after the twirl Elizabeth gave, Ciel cleared his throat and straightened himself, his fiancée still bouncing in her low-heeled shoes in excitement.

"It is my father's private corporation train. I have a personal compartment set up at the end, significantly furnished, of course, as appropriate for a nobleman's needs."

"And his future wife!" Elizabeth added, clinging to Ciel, whose face turned red again. "Oh this is going to be so wonderful, Ciel! I am going home immediately to pack my bags, regardless whether it'd be waiting for me or not! Come on, Paula!"

Elizabeth twirled her maid once before dragging her outside the doors, Paula barely finishing a dismissing bow for Ciel.

As soon as the ladies have exited, Ciel turned to Sebastian, his eyes a dangerous shade of piercing blue.

"Now, now, that went well, didn't it, Young Master," Sebastian said, still amused. "If it weren't for me, you would forever be thinking about it and I would have to spend my lifetime smelling of crumpets."

Ciel narrowed his eyes and turned away. "And that train was for business matters only," he muttered. "And I was going to enjoy a nice cup of tea without having her poking her nose everywhere I go. Now go and finish my bags. Get ready to leave at an hour's notice."

His butler observed his master's face carefully and before he began walking to Ciel's room to finish last night's packing, he murmured, "Oh young Master. You are up for a lot of time, indeed, with your beloved fiancée of whom you denied looking like a crumpet."

He snorted and disguised it as a cough, and laughed discreetly at his master's own hilarious antics.

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**Just to be clear for the joke, crumpets are British slangs for 'attractive woman'. Blatantly, Elizabeth was a bit slow to understand the joke, though look at Ciel's face. Dear dear. **

** I know right? I'm obsessed with trains and couples, if you've read my Nurarihyon oneshots. **

**I'm not good at geography, so please just tell me if I'm wrong with locations and stuff. **

**Please do review so I can get working on my next chapter? I shan't pressure you, but it is the very least a reader like you can do :" Thank you so much!**


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